An Email Conversation

I'm posting this email conversation with G that we had yesterday afternoon for those of you who know him. He's recovering from foot surgery and is at the point where he can do more physical activity, so I offered to bring him to the gym with me last night so he could try some different machines. As soon as he started using the apostrophes to shorten his words I knew he was in one of his goofy moods, so I ran with it. The "Kuhl" he refers to is a home building company. We went to one of their homes last weekend on the home tour and they had installed a distressed wood floor in its kitchen. They actually drop heavy rocks on the floor to give it is distressed look, which is the process he's referring to. Maybe I think this conversation is funnier than it actually is, and if that's the case, I apologize for posting it. :) I think Mom V will at least appreciate it.

Here goes:

A: I just remembered that I can bring a guest to LA Fitness tonight for free. You wanna go, or do you want to play some tennis? If we play tennis, I need to leave by 6:20 in order to make it to the gym in time for class.

G: So, if I go to the gym, does it count towards that other 1 free week thing?

A: I don't think so. We'll go to the gym and they'll probably try to sell you a membership. You can just tell them you're trying it out but that you might need more time to check things out. Dawdle like I did. They'll probably offer you a 7-day trial pass (you can tell them I was offered one for a friend or family member).

G: Do they have a track in there?

A: Nope, but they do have elliptical machines and a number of different kinds of bikes you could try. There's also the pool and hot tub if that sounds interesting.

G: Maybe I’ll start with the ellipticals, then switch over to the ‘mills when I got a good sweat goin’. Once I go about 4-5k I’ll probably jump into the pool and do a few laps. Then I’ll probably run around the perimeter of the building a few times and then finish with some weights. They have weights right?

A: Sounds like a plan - they have a boulder-throwing pit, a log-dragging course, and a bus-pulling zone. Will that be enough for your weight lifting needs?

G: I was hoping to hone my lumberjacking skills, so the log dragging will help, but I was hoping they’d maybe have a chainsaw or something I could use.

A: They don't allow chainsaws in the workout area, but they do give you the option of trying to crush the logs with the boulders. I'm not sure if that will help you in your effort to hone your lumberjack skills, but maybe it will help?

G: Hmm.. sounds like a money making plan. I’ll smash the boulders into the logs, then sell the logs as ‘pre-stressed’ to Kuhl. They can then use the wood in fancy houses.

A: You are so brilliant! Now come home to me so we can have dinner and go to the gym.